confession...

I called up srini (frnd) @ 6:30. He told 7:15 Roopali (name of a restro). Then there was my nani to face. I have been telling her that – I got a call from a friend saying that there is an A/c lecture from 7 to 9. #LIE. I told her that the information doesn’t comes from a trusted source but still, as a good student, it is my duty to go there &  check – if @ all there is a class & then attend it with full concentration. I said I will visit a friend & then we will go  to the college together- If there is no lecture, I will be back in 20 min.-[All this unusually good things made nani sure that daal mein kuch kaala hai.] She was so much against my going there- & I was standing over her like a beggar from whom you can get rid only if you give him a penny. J

 

She finally said, (in a sulking tone), “Do whatever you wish” I went murmuring things such as, ‘its studies’ ,‘for practice’, etc. She again said, “Do as you wish” (read I don’t want you to go…. ).

 

Well, I was determined. It was too tempting a meet to miss. Mayank landed up from Delhi to discuss mission ‘education’ (Let the right time come & you will know what the idea was. Till then let’s call it mission ‘education’).  So I went to friend to inform him in case he might call up my home.  Then we had a fruitful meeting which was more about ‘WHAT’ ‘WHY’ & less about ‘HOW’.  A cool quote came to my mind, but thanks to srini’s comments, I couldn’t speak it. Then all was fine till 9:10 & then I stood up to leave explaining the folks that I lied & so….

 

            These guys came up things such as “Don’t lie” “To hide 1 lie, you will need to speak 10 more” et al. I stopped them half way through & ordered a cell phone. After 4 attempts, got the right no. mama was on the line. I said, “I am sorry……..hmmmm….I lied to nani that I am going to college. A yatri has came from Delhi. I wanted to meet so…..”

Mama: “By when will u be home.”

I: “Will leave in 10-15min.”

Mama: “Be there by 9:45”

 

HANG UP

 

(Mama had a very normal tone & I was too nervous to realize that I was shivering.)

 

That’s all. Everything was fine now. I had a glass of water (my fifth one as the meeting began…..I needed bathroom badly now. ). Then we had a coffee (thanks to kalyani). Rushed back home & reached there @ sharp 9:45-went straight to the bathroom-& then – CONFESSION ROUND- Nani was like – GHOSH- she started shouting & continued for the next 30 min. coming up things such as, “I will talk to the college to expel you.” “Pack up & go back to Baroda”(I am in Pune since past 2 years.) “I am calling you parents” ‘n’ so on.

 

Then as she came to the normal room temperature (after the boiling point) I explained her everything – Why I did it?- Why I won’t do it again- Why I realized my mistake & I called up mama. & so on. She then deleted all the numbers from the yatris’ no. from cell phone & tore off a couple of pages from my personal diary. Then it was normal – everything. When mama came, I couldn’t even look into his eyes. He was like, “Why to lie, we would have convinced her” (in a very normal tone.) [I just love my mama. Whatever I am is because of him.].

 

Now?, here I am writing this, thinking what gave me the courage? What was the tipping point?Was it the yatra spirit? Or Was I just trying to impress everyon1? Or Was it because of this long-feeded  desire to do something of this sort? – Was it just because I understood the previous week that, “A desire entertained, but not fulfilled becomes a burden-draining our energy. ” The answer is something I don’t wish to share…..

 

 

 

P.S.: I read a proverb last week which said, “It is easier to get forgiveness then to get permission”. My experience proved its not that reliable. :D

 

Argument..........beign foolish

 

Few people- (I am carrying this title of being optimistic so only…) FEW people enter into an argument barking about WHO – WHO is right rather than WHAT. But, then the very purpose of the argument will change into a discussion if people start thinking WHAT is right! Don’t be a fool to enter into a discussion. ALWAYS ARGUE- yeah – ALWAYS. Once I sat thinking why do people argue? Quite simple actually- just to prove that they are right. But why do 1 needs to prove it???........May be just to gather a tea-spoon of self-esteem. But if this is the case, BEWARE In case if you are wrong, later a cup full of guilt might cancel the tea-spoon’s effect. OOPS…..sorry, I am a fool who forgot that if you are into an argument how can you be wrong??? Forget this para. J

 

Fools think a lot. Fools have empathy- Smart people don’t think anything apart from winning the god-damn argument. “How can anyone come & challenge me?- they just want to insult me. But I am smart enough, aren’t I?” is what smarties think. Only fools tell, “I don’t care about what the world (read smarties) says” Even smarties tell the same thing, but @ different times.

 

It motivates fools when they leave an argument (discussion for fools) but for smarties it is a sort of a solace when they try to fool their own selves- trying to suppress their inner voice.

 

Smarties fool themselves. Fools can’t. Maybe that’s why they are fools. Maybe that’s why Steve Jobs tells you to “STAY FOOLISH. STAY HUNGRY”

 

Well, I can never be a smarty……..nor can I be hungry……..So only 1 option left for souls like me……& that’s beign foolish. J